July 27, 2021. Beyond expectations.

HER KIDNEY LABS ARE NORMAL! Like not just a little better, but like miraculously rocketed past hundreds of proteins in her urine down to single digits, which is normal range. Normal! I would’ve been happy with just a slight improvement in kidney function, but this is beyond expectations. To be honest, I didn’t even know normal kidney function was possible. I was hoping for stopping getting worse or slight improvement, but this…! This!!!! I am astonished. If I hadn’t seen her clear urine sample with my own eyes, (usually it’s a disheartening cloudy sample), I would question if there was perhaps an error in labs.

This does not mean she is cured or stops medication. This simply means that this is a good sign that her medications are working. If all continues to go well, then she continues to head towards remission, and around November she can stop taking prednisolone, and next year possibly stop taking all medications. She would still have to be careful about getting sick, as any sickness can restart the overactive immune response, and the dreaded proteins being dumped in her body that can hurt her kidneys and eyes and more.

I cried. Al got choked up. Brother said “I didn’t cry. I closed my eyes and squeezed water out.” Al said, “That’s crying.” Alyssa mostly stood stunned, soaking in our reactions and the moment. We thanked God. Yet again, God surprises me beyond all expectations, and I am humbled, broken, and thankful. We share our good news and thank you for your loving support.

Alyssa asked me three times, “Mommy, did you struggle with faith?” Finally I admitted, “Yeah, I guess?” What’s the difference between hope, belief, and faith? I ended up recently explaining it to the kids like this. “If I said to jump off the bed and that I’ll catch you, would you?” They know I’m out of shape and each kid weighs 70 lbs, and they instinctively know I mean a full fledged flying squirrel jump. The kids hesitated. I continued, “You would HOPE I would catch you, but you don’t really BELIEVE I would catch you well, so you wouldn’t feel safe jumping. But if Daddy was going to catch you, you would totally jump, because you BELIEVE he’s got you, and so you can ACT on it. That is FAITH. You have FAITH that Daddy will catch you. You also have FAITH something will go wrong when I try to catch you.” 😂 But did I struggle with faith? Yeah. I did. Because I honestly didn’t even know normal kidney function was even possible, much less so abruptly like this. Jesus asked Peter “Do you love me?” three times. It was a drilled in question and point. Ironically Alyssa asked me three times, “Did you struggle with faith?” and I know this is a drilled in question and point. I know this is God’s voice through my child. And yes, I did struggle. And I am so beyond humbled. Then I asked back, “Alyssa, did you struggle with faith?” “Nope,” she replied without missing a beat. “Did you think this was going to happen?” I asked. “No, but the only time I’ve ever struggle with faith was when the dogs were dying. But I’m ok now, because Charmin’s so much better.”